The people you love the most are the hardest to forgive. If you can manage to practice doing it, you’ll win.
The time I spent depressed was rife with violent thoughts. I indulged my anger and fantasized it onto everyone around me.
I am far from depressed now. I am alive.
There are a few instances during which that sadistic thought pattern creeps back into my mind, such as when my wife makes me angry.
Or, I should say, when I get angry at myself. I don’t hate her; I hate the fact that I’ve disappointed her.
The instant my blood starts to boil, I practice:
Pause, and look inwards. What have I done to make her angry?
The answer is always something. I either didn’t listen, or didn’t remember, or didn’t think.
As soon as I realize that, my anger disappears. Because I see that it was me, or something else that happened earlier that day that put her in that state. It’s not her fault.
And so within a few seconds I am able to forgive her for whatever she may have said to me.
That’s when we win.