I thought I was the master of lies,
Contorting my face before your eyes.
Suppressing the terror building inside,
Controlling a force that could not be denied.
Energy drained, appearances to keep;
Nobody bothers me when I’m asleep.
Leave me alone. I’ll go out tomorrow.
Praying that no one will detect my sorrow.
One day soon, I’ll go to sleep;
No more lies to tell or keep.
I’ll lift the mask up from my face,
I’ll venture to another place.
That might not seem right to you,
Believe me when I say its true;
I don’t want to leave you behind,
But happiness here, I’ll never find.
Cracks in the armor beginning to show,
Oh, what’s the difference? All will soon know.
It’s a matter of time before I end this show.
The decision brings a reckless feeling,
Indulging myself with free time bought stealing.
The lights go out in the bar every night,
The charade’s finale creeps into my sight.
No one is joining; I’m left all alone,
To break from disguise, and find my way home.
Or end what I’ve started, and complete the task.
People have noticed my halfway mask.
There’s no turning back, no possible solution.
I’m beyond saving, or seeking absolution.
I failed at the end, to succeed in my death,
Miserably shameful to admit that I’m left,
Sitting before you, helplessly in sorrow,
Thinking I’d rather not be here tomorrow.
From that day forth, things started to change,
Little by little, my brain rearranged,
It took many years, and several relapses,
Talk-fixing thoughts and pills for synapses.
Suddenly one day, ten years have gone by,
And I can clearly see that by mastering lies,
I didn’t fool anyone with my disguise.
They were all there to help me.
I only mastered demise.